You need to invest in research: This means the occasional big investment, as well as many frequent upgrades as resources allow. If you neglect your research, it won't matter if you have a hundred units - they'll all be obsolete and practically useless. It may even backfire because you'll still have to maintain them (via population limits or distracting your "medics" to get healed), which will prevent you from focusing on the new, important units that can actually win the game.
You need the right tools: Don't even try taking down a castle with just stone-age sling shots. Often you need a combination of complementary units - i.e. you need to coordinate siege, cavalry, medics, etc... Likewise, software engineering needs the right tools - good luck with team development if you don't at least have a good source control system and a build server.
Strike a problem while it's still small: Like in real life, problems grow in AoE. An enemy team gets bigger and stronger, resources dwindle, or the clock runs outs. This is why a common strategy is to rush your opponents while they're still small. (You may also be small at the moment, but you're still big enough to beat them now). In development, problems grow too - bad code propagates. Knock it out early before it comes back to bite you.
Protect your home base: Don't rush out on some adventure and leave you home base defenseless. Likewise, in development, your core application is your home base, and it should be protected by a suite of automated unit tests. So if you get distracted with some other "adventure", at least your code still has some defense against bad additions that would break it.
Not all units are equal: Although a foot-solder and a horse-archer are each just a single unit, one horse-archer could beat ten foot-solders. Furthermore, the horse-archer, who can shoot at range (like across a river), could accomplish things that a million foot-soldiers could never do. Likewise, in development, there are real "stars" - a star dev will produce not just more than 10x an average dev, they'll create things that an average dev won't even comprehend. Granted, sometimes a company's technical needs are simple enough that they don't need stars, but it's good to at least be aware of the discrepancy.
Your plan can be limited by mental energy: You may have 50 units, but it doesn't matter if it's impossible to manage them. AoE is an arcade game, and you may make dumb decisions simply because there wasn't enough time to think out the perfect solution. I personally prefer a handful of powerful units that are easy to manage, as opposed to an army of weak units that just get plucked off because they're too hard to coordinate. Same applies to software engineering, but even more so. Most of what you do is limited by mental energy (code being hard to maintain, a purist algorithm taking too much thinking to figure out, etc...). Mental energy is as real a resource as gold.
Don't rely on cheat codes: AoE has cheat codes. However, don't depend on them because they could be disabled or make you miss the bigger picture. In software engineering, the equivalent is to use hacks - bad code that solves the immediate problem now, only to break tens times as much later.
Expect the unexpected. In AoE, there are other teams actively working against you. The enemy may not attack your straight on (where all your defenses are), but may instead be creative and attack from the side, or ambush behind, or siege you, or something else. Likewise, in software engineering, there are constant business changes, miscommunications, developer bugs, new technologies, all causing unexpected things to happen.
Recognize the common patterns and solutions: AoE has perhaps hundreds of units. With many different civs (each with their own unique unit), it's a lot to have a special plan for every single unit that you may encounter. However, there are comparatively only a few categories for them - like infantry, ranged, cavalry, siege, naval units, etc... By looking at the common patterns (ranged units usually beat infantry, cavalry usually beats siege), you can abstract out the details and make a flexible plan. Same thing in software engineering - there are common design patterns and ways to abstract out complexity via domain-specific-languages. Be prepared to look at the high-level abstract issues, then drill down into the details.
It should be fun: AoE is a good, old-fashioned-fun kind of computer game. It has huge replay value. Likewise, development should be fun, especially if you have the right process and schedule in place.